The Heart of My Worship
Although worship music is my passion, worship is more than music. The act of true worship for me starts with where I stand with God.
All I really want in life is to be close to God. To know God and I are ‘locked in.’ That I’m the apple of God’s eye, and He is my everything. That we just click. Do you feel that way too? To be that close to Him? We all want to be valued and feel special. But is God enough? Or do we fulfill ourselves with value from others? We all want to be somebody’s #1. Wouldn’t it be amazing if you were God’s #1?
Well, like any relationship, in order to grow and bond we need to be vulnerable with each other. I think with God, we have a tendency to be apathetic. We shut down our feelings. Probably for a few reasons. 1. We don’t feel it’s even a possibility to have that type of relationship with Him. 2. Maybe you’ve been trained to shove everything under the carpet. 3. Or maybe you grew up in church and figure you’re good to go…saved, baptized, memorized scripture, and talk the talk. 4. Maybe you keep revisiting the same ‘sin-issue’ in your life and lost hope.5. Maybe Jesus isn’t the cool, hip thing anymore. 6. Or maybe you are so afraid to fall from your faith again that you’re paralyzed and left standing still.
I’ve learned that if I don’t allow myself to expose my deepest feelings, regrets, pain and filthy secrets to God - whether it’s current or from the past - I risk closing myself off from what I want most. I don’t know about you, but having favor with God is top of my list. I want to be picked to be on His dodgeball team! I want to be invited to His private party. I want to be on God’s VIP list.
That’s what I really desire when I close my eyes at night. To know God has me. His eye is on me. Wanting the best for me. And loving me unconditionally. When I worship…I find out the truth that He does. ☺
The deepest part of me … completely locked in to the deepest part of God. That’s my heart behind worship.
He found him out in the wilderness, in an empty, windswept wasteland. He threw his arms around him, lavished attention on him, guarding him as the apple of his eye. He was like an eagle hovering over its nest, overshadowing its young, then spreading its wings, lifting them into the air, teaching them to fly. God alone led him; there was not a foreign god in sight. ~ Deuteronomy 32:10-14
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